Thirty, Flirty and Thriving. Apparently.

30 is a wise ole age

 

“The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.” -Hervey Allen

 

The First Stage of Grief:

 

It was my 32nd birthday last week, I used to think 30 was over the hill. Right up until I was 29 years and 364 days. I spent my 30th drinking cocktails, being in denial and cried every time anyone sung to me. Entering my fourth decade was something I didn’t do willingly or gracefully. But then I don’t think anyone really enters their 30’s enthusiastically, well I don’t think many women do anyway. I remember when my friend turned 30 a year before I did. A group of us hired a house for the weekend in Mount Maunganui. It started with shots in the car on the drive over and ended with a multi-day hangover.

Maybe it is because when you are in your 20’s you are seen as young and allowed to experiment more with your life and make mistakes. You are supposed to have it all together once you hit your 30’s. I know I certainly didn’t, and still don’t really but I am less afraid now. I don’t feel like I have to have a set plan and am happy just to see where life takes me. In my 20’s I thought I had to have a map of my life and felt like a failure if it didn’t work out. Now I see that I can have a general idea and know that life will often throw curve balls but sometimes, those curve balls even though they take you off-course into an unknown destination, will work out even better.

 

 

“She didn’t feel thirty. But then again, what was being thirty supposed to feel like? When she was younger, thirty seemed so far away, she thought that a woman of that age would be so wise and knowledgeable, so settled in her life with a husband and children and a career. She had none of those things. She still felt as clueless as she had felt when she was twenty, only with a few more gray hairs and crow’s feet around her eyes.” – Cecilia Ahern

 

 

Acceptance:

 

I have since decided that I quite like being in my 30’s. Nowadays, I feel much more comfortable in myself and in my own skin than I did in my 20’s. I have come to a point in my life where I am happy enough being me and make no apologies for being otherwise. People can take me or leave me as I am and that’s ok. I don’t have a lot of close friends, mainly acquaintances but I would rather have a small amount of close friends than spread myself thin over lots. I am content with my life.

My 20’s were plagued with depression, self-doubt, and uncertainty. I spent years under a black cloud unable to see the light through the clouds, I felt like I was navigating in the dark without a compass. I am not saying that as soon as I turned 30 the clouds disappeared, the sun came out and I was handed a compass. That is far from what happened! I have worked incredibly hard on my demons and with age and experience, they are mostly dormant.

 

 

“Thirty was so strange for me. I’ve really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult.” -C.S. Lewis

 

 

A Wise Ole Owl:

My wise Oma once said to me (last week) that 32 is a great age. You are old enough to have learned a few life lessons but still young. I pondered over this for a while in my head thoughtfully and realised she is absolutely correct, I still don’t feel very “adult” but I don’t feel like I’m stumbling through life, trying to find myself as much anymore. Sometimes I feel like I should have my shit more together more but I am getting there. Slowly but surely as we all do.

 

Getting older is terrifying. But it doesn’t have to be if you embrace each new year positively, reflecting on the lessons learned and the adventures to come. That was part of the reason I made my “33 things to tick off before 33“, I figure it is time to start making the most of life. Some of the things I have done before but not for a long time so it’s about finding the joy in the little things again.

 

 

“At 30 you’re old enough to look back, but young enough to look forward.” – Unknown

 

 

What age scares you the most? What lessons have you learned as you’ve gotten older? Let me know in the comments. I like comments.

 

Jem

x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

19 comments

  1. Hi Jem. Apparently, we are all afraid of getting older. I do too. I am in my mid 20+ now. I also regretted some things in my life before turning twenties but mostly are just because I didn’t enjoy enough than I should have. Just because I am not confident with my self. But now. I learned that people can say what ever they want and i can do whatever I want to. So, from now care less and live more.

    1. That’s great you are starting to care less about what people think and wanting to live more, living is the whole point of life!

  2. Hey, Jem, truly beautiful post. I think I am among the very few 20-something year olds that actually thinks life gets sweeter with age, and I for one am looking forward to being in my 30s. As for the scariest time of my life, undoubtedly it has been this year when i turned 23. A lot happened the previous year and it all collapsed on me this year. For the first time i lacked control, but am happy to say things are better.

    I wrote about my ‘quarter-life crisis’ in a post. It actually sounds a bit like a prequel to this post. Do check it out @ https://bedtimeblabber.blogspot.jp/2017/02/the-ugly-twenties.html

    1. I read your post and it is very much like a prequel! You write very beautifully. I’m so glad things are getting better for you x

  3. Great post! I recently turned 21 and wrote a post about my misconceptions about adulthood. The more people I speak to the clearer it becomes that adulthood is probably a journey I will be on for the rest of my life and takes a lot of pressure off. I think as a society we need to stop telling people what they should be doing with their lives (especially women) after a certain number of years, we all have different experiences that shape us in tremendously different ways. Goad to hear that you’re loving your 30s!

  4. Great post girl! I just turned 31 a few months ago and am currently advancing towards the acceptance stage I think. I feel like turning 31 was almost worse than turning 30! Now that I am a few months in I am also feeling more confident and in my old skin. I even went back to some of my old college bars last week and thought…omg I am so glad I am in my 20’s anymore haha baby steps, right??

  5. Great post Jem, I really enjoyed turning 30 but my thirties felt a bit like a failure as if I should have been a grown up but wasn’t. Now in my 40s I have decided I’m never going to be a grown up and have embraced it (with the help of my husband who is 63 and literally Peter Pan). Enjoy your journey towards 40, I’m having a pretty good go at my journey toward 50 (ahhhhh 50). Love the quotes

  6. Well you guys, I’m 59! but I don’t feel old. Embrace the present and don’t wish away any phase of life I say! I remember in 20’s and 30’s wishing it was either the future or I looked back to when it was free and easy and in doing that I probably missed the gems and blessings of the now times. Now I’m older I don’t really do that, it’s hard not to sometimes when you see visual effects like gravity causing things to droop and lines become deeper and hair turn to grey! (I actually learned to love my grey hair though, it’s a la natural and I’m not putting chemicals on my head in which my brain is just through the other side. ANYWAY I still am childish sometimes and can still laugh at my own corny jokes (not at the stage where I need to be careful when I laugh that I don’t leak yet! Praise God!). Lessons I have learned are many.. I think one of the biggest things is to learn to like myself. So many of us are hard on ourselves and it robs you of confidence and happiness. Another big lesson I learned was that people are responsible for their own choices and I can’t wave a magic wand with fairy dust and make my friends, or families’ lives (or my own) wonderfully happy ever after. It hurts to see people hurt. It’s part of the journey of life huh. I feel like all your mama’s saying good work guys, you all seem to have keys to look forward and to be satisfied with where you’re at.

  7. I loved this post. I didn’t walk into my 30’s willingly lol. I was in denial. However, as time goes by I am loving this age and understanding that being here isn’t so bad after all. I think we are all scared of turning 30 because society conditioned us to believe 30 was over the hill and that you should have all your ducks in a row by then and if not then something’s not right. Now that I’m here I feel like 30 is the new 20, and I’m enjoying it.

  8. Beautifully written! I can relate to a lot of this. I wasn’t excited about turning 30 myself. In fact, at my birthday party one of my friends who hadn’t turned 30 kept rubbing it in reminding me I was now “30”! Now i look back I’m like “what was i soo afraid of?”. I don’t feel any different, in fact I feel like I’m making wiser choices unlike before so there you go!

  9. Great post! I turn 30 this year and I’ve been going back & forth on am I going to be too old to do things? Am I still to young to know things? I think you’re right about it all though!

  10. Hi Jem! This is a thought provoking post. I’m 23 right now and still living at home with my parents. I keep telling myself that by the time I’m 25, I’ll be out on my own, living life confidently, etc. But now that’s only two years away, and starting to seem less and less realistic. So 25 is a super scary age for me! I’m actually quite looking forward to being around 30. I like to think this frantic race to grow up and be perfect will have calmed down by then 🙂

  11. Loved this post! I just turned 30 recently and I have not been handling it well at all. I really wish I was. Thank you for writing this post, and showing me that there are more people out there that are feeling the same way. It will get better!

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